it's quarter past ten
i stand up to leave
it's too late for coffee
or to be heard
someday my name
will be on a polished plaque
the proud face of a bad example
the reward for being a good employee
but for now
i've missed the last bus home
and bubble bath play time with my son
i wrap my guilt away
it doesn't pay the bills
my body says it's hungry
i walk to the diner around the corner
with a blinking signboard and a missing letter
the waitress yawns
tells me in a flat voice
it's too late to order
there are three missed calls
and an unread message on my phone
i think it's my husband
or maybe my lover
it's too late for reading
or talking
for blanket excuses and knitted lies
it's too late to fight
i see a couple approaching
their arms tightly linked, eyes firmly locked
it's too late to exchange advice
they pass me by
my vacant hands occupy
the deep pockets of my coat
the click-clack of my shoes
echo the emptiness of the streets
pretty houses sit amidst blooms
more wondrous than the next
all deserving praise for effortless detail
i notice deadpan faces inside
isolated in different rooms
bowing to an artificial ray of light
the volume of silence increases
in the dark
at the door
i take off my dirty shoes
out of habit
i turn the lock to the right with my key
out of memory
it's too late to turn on the lights
my house is blissfully dead
it's too late for a hug or a kiss or i missed you too
i fall into bed
the only thing waiting for me
i don't undress
it's too late for comfort
the sheet creases taking my shape
the ceiling fan oscillates
my head spins
with tumbling thoughts
it's too late for a dream
so i write
Petula D’Souza was born in a desert country and has been speeding her way through life since. She is a workaholic by day and a tired poet by night, and an overthinker at all hours. You can find snippets of her interests and musings floating around Instagram @pd.loves.words and short stories on Terribly Tiny Tales. She likes to keep her nose inside a book on most days, and drowns out discord with Spotify. Currently, she is learning how to speak in emojis to keep up with Gen Z.